4 min to read
Don't Listen to the bully in your head
The bully loves to control you.
When you look in the mirror, do you curse your reflection for not being attractive enough?
Do you make silent, sarcastic remarks to yourself after you speak?
When you engage in self-criticism, it’s like having your very own personal bully living inside your head. Whenever you try something new, the bully is there to taunt you. When you think about taking a risk, the bully lets you know you’ll probably fail. And when it comes to relationships, the bully is the first to point out your flaws and weaknesses, all the reasons no one could ever really love you.
The bully loves to control you. It’s the bully’s “thing.” Your bully is happiest when you’re anxious about screwing up, or else feeling like you already screwed up.
That’s what gives bullies their power. If you want to ditch the bully, you’ll need to take your power back. But before you can do that, make sure you really want to get rid of the bully inside your head. “What?” you may ask. “How can you even ask me that? Of COURSE I want to ditch this bully!” Are you sure? The bully in your head is there for a reason. The bully is there to keep you on your toes. What if you didn’t have a bully pointing out how badly you’re doing in everything? How much worse might you be?
I am very critical of myself because, I feel that I should always be aware of my short comings. So that ,if someone was to point something out. It doesn’t bother me as much.As I would be working on it. I like to be prepared for the worse case scenario so I don’t get disappointed or surprised.
I like to be informed and conscious of everything that happens around me in order for me to have a choice and not have to pick something that had already been chosen for me. However I wouldn’t classify myself as a control freak ,because i do know how and when to let go and let God. Which brings me to today’s post.
Sometimes in life we tend to be our harshest critics . We spend our time trying to improve ourselves that we don’t realize that sometimes we do the most harm to ourselves. For the longest time I spent time trying to figure out what I can do to make myself less like me and more like what I was expected to be and what I expected myself to be. Because I felt that being me was too much to handle and all of this based on opinions I thought mattered .
Instead all it did was bring me down. To the point that I never stopped to see the progress that I had made in my life. The areas of growth , the wisdom and knowledge that i have gained from past lessons. Because I was so focused on what was wrong with me and what i felt i was lacking. I failed to see the wonderful man I have become compared to the child i once was . I never stopped to see that all my battle wounds have grown into beautiful reminders of strength ,perserverance and determination. All this through hard work. I failed to see my own progress ,my achievements my strengths and my smile because i was wrapped up in my own head bringing myself down.
Sometimes people will try to dim your light to brighten there own and that does do damage. However, the real damage occurs when you fool yourself into believing it. That’s when the block occurs , because if you cant stand for you . Nobody else will stand up for you.
Don’t sentence yourself to death. Don’t be the Judge .Jury and executioner without seeing the full scope . For every negative thought think of three positive ones and that should tell you things cant be as bad as they seem. Nothing ever is.
For with each problem comes a solution and for each solution comes another problem. But don’t allow yourself to believe the lie that, it is impossible or too difficult, or that you are not good enough. When that thought comes give yourself a break and remind yourself of all the reasons why you are perfect as you are and as you work on improving yourself.
God’s timing is best because some lessons make more sense after a series of storms.
In all things live your life learning but don’t let the learning cause you to stop dreaming.